Soccer and the ADHD Kid

No sport transcends religious, political and cultural boundaries quite like soccer. In fact, 9 out of 10 sociologists agree that before soccer existed, boys were already playing it — they just called it something else (football, maybe?). In remote, third world villages where kids are too poor to afford a real soccer ball, they make their…

My Kids’ Lives Matter

Do black lives matter? Do white lives matter? Does any life matter? Or do we just like to hear ourselves scream…Because we’re angry. I’ll tell you what matters to me. My kids. My kids’ lives matter. They matter more than your rage and your politics. And I’ll tell you what threatens those lives:

3 Signs Your Child is DOOMED

If my goal was to sell magazines, I suppose I’d clutter the cover with inspiring crap such as “10 Signs Your Child is Gifted” or “Indigo Children and the Perfect Parents who Love Them” or “The Challenges of Raising the Next Supreme Genius of Everything.” But they don’t stock this blog on the grocery store…

Childbirth: 5 things you never thought you’d do

Please give my wife a round of applause for the arrival of Widget3. To make a long story short, we couldn’t make it to the birth center fast enough (yes, we use a “birth center” with midwives and all that medieval stuff, which basically means we’re anti-science and hate our children), so we did the…

On the road

I was driving Widget1 home from GameStop when we encountered a street evangelist at a busy intersection. The man waved a sign displaying a barely readable handwritten message, “God’ll never give up on you.” As we passed the evangelist, Widget1 rolled down his window from the backseat of the Dodge Charger and stuck his head out…

Gender Bender

As I put Widget1 to bed last night, I handed him a shirt with a motorcycle design. I expected him to protest that he preferred to wear his Mario pajamas — which would have been a problem, because his Mario pajamas were dirty. Instead, he exceeded my expectations and opened up a whole new Pandora’s…