Halloween Horror

7:24am. My alarm clock takes a second stab at jump-starting my heart, after the 7:14 call didn’t take. I roll over and find my 5-year-old son standing over my bed, silently watching. It’s October 31. Halloween. The wife under the covers shows no sign of life. I’m thinking: this is that scene in every horror…

Flat Tires and Skinned Feet

When you work a desk job and have a family, there’s never enough time for exercise. My solution is to ride my bicycle to work. It’s a 20 minute trip that gets the blood pumping and avoids incurring the wrath of Mommy. This past Sunday, I bought a new hybrid. Today, I got a flat…

It Belongs in a Bat Cave

If you’re ever in Miami, don’t pass up a chance to visit the Dezer Collection. The deceptively bland set of warehouse buildings tucked away in a hidden corner off of State Route 1 contains the world’s largest collection of famous Hollywood and classic cars. How did this come to be? It seems that after running…

Toys!

Muscular Rule #3 – Never give your child a toy you’re not willing to be hit in the face with. Addendum: make sure the toy is such that if your child does hit you, you can seize the toy and wield it in retaliation without being arrested for battery. Fortunately, we went with balloons this…

Restaurant Adventure

Muscular Rule #2 – Restaurants and children don’t mix. When you’ve got a baby and a preschooler, going out to eat is like preparing for a military campaign through eastern Europe. Of course you need to pack the basics – diapers, wet wipes, and various unmentionables Mommy keeps in the diaper bag, which has gradually…