Turning Our Kids into Sissies: or Revenge of the Violent Toys

Muscular Rule of Parenting #5 – My boys will NOT be sissies.

A co-worker forwarded this list of 21 shameful ways we are forcing children to be sissies. I’ve heard most of these before, and every time I’m reminded of them, the throbbing vein in my forehead grows another little vein of its own – a little muscular, macho, death-defying, devil-may-care, non-sissy vein that would pop out and snap Chuck Norris’ neck if Chuck Norris had the nerve to show up right now and say hello how was your day.

Most of the list can be summed up as the consequences of the “zero tolerance” mania sweeping America’s prisons schools. It seems like an irreconcilable contradiction that the same school systems that base their social ethics on “tolerance” for one another are simultaneously and proudly espousing a school disciplinary policy that specifically refuses to be tolerant.

Lots of angry bloggers who know everything about everything have already blasted “zero tolerance” ad nauseum. Many see this as an attempt to socially engineer boys to be less like boys. Others fear the government is purposely making our children passive so they will obey orders without question, or conditioning them to despise the Second Amendment’s right to bear arms. While I do suspect that school administrators generally have a negative attitude toward boys, and while the political perks may be discouraging our elected leaders from taking a stand against it, I’d put my money on a more mundane primary cause – the fear of lawsuits.

And to that I say, if a school board is more concerned about frivolous lawsuits than my children’s well being, I will NEVER enroll them in that school.

My boys WILL do things that could potentially lead to injury.

My boys WILL talk about the existence of guns.

My boys WILL make gun shapes with their hands.

My boys WILL play with toy guns.

My boys WILL dress up like action heroes who use violence to protect the innocent.

My boys WILL be encouraged to be heroes when the situation demands it.

My boys WILL NOT assume that only a badge can fight a bully or stop a crime.

My boys WILL NOT be sissies.

Zero Tolerance doesn’t create zero risk. It just makes kids incapable of handling those risks when they come.

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