Kids vs. Walmart

The internet loves photos of large Walmart shoppers. My toddler does not share that love. Whilst navigating around an obese woman whose posture accentuated her generously endowed rear end, Widget2 said to Mom, “Watch out for the butt!”

Later, my wife succumbed to the age-old female tradition of getting distracted by shiny objects while shopping. Now, you should know that I hate going to Walmart with my wife, because I like to go in with a plan and get out in a hurry, while her estrogen + ADHD = HOLYCRAPINEEDTOSTOPANDLOOKATEVERYAMAZINGTHINGWITHAPRICETAG!!!

wal-mart-stores_416x416Standard gender conflict material, right?

More than right.

This stuff starts early, folks. As early as age 7.

You see, my wife now had Widget1 with her. And thanks to the mystical powers of his new ADHD medication, his eyes were opened and he saw his mother’s madness for what it was.

“Mom, that’s not what we came for,” he protested. “Let’s go!”

I’ve trained him well.

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