Kids vs. Walmart

The internet loves photos of large Walmart shoppers. My toddler does not share that love. Whilst navigating around an obese woman whose posture accentuated her generously endowed rear end, Widget2 said to Mom, “Watch out for the butt!”

Wordsmith

Having been distracted by the unicorns in his head the day we taught him human anatomy, Widget1 has created his own name for the big toe. He calls it his “thumb toe.”

Kiddie Slang

Tonight at dinner I heard our toddler say the word “kapeesh.” I had to look up kapeesh in a dictionary just to spell it on this blog (FYI there are multiple accepted spellings), and our toddler already knows how to say it — and not only say it, but use it correctly in conversation. How…

Faith like a child

While riding the elevator to our apartment, Widget1 pointed two fingers with his right hand and informed me that this is how God makes both elevators rise simultaneously. As we arrived at our floor, he added, “God uses his left hand for the sun.”

Drama King

Widget1 wanted Mommy to do clean-up duty for him after doing his business on the toilet. Mommy said no, he needs to wipe his own butt. Because, you know, a 5-year-old should know how to use toilet paper, and frankly the parents are tired of looking down the business end of their children’s digestive systems.…